You may have read the previous post.

I found myself, this morning, dreading half a dozen things I had to do today.

Except, I didn't have to do them, they were all things I'd chosen to do for myself. I just didn't want to do them any more, at least, not right now.

What do you do when you've just given the entire planet permission to do what they know they're afraid of, but you can't give yourself permission?

That's right; I asked my wife for permission.

She said it was okay.

I've waited my whole life for someone to give me permission to do the things I wanted to do.

Many of the folks I talk to are also waiting for permission.

So, here it is. Oh, and way down at the bottom is the answer to the question of life, the universe, and everything, and it's not, by the way, 42.

Do you want to write a book? Permission granted.

Are you writing a book, but wish you could just shelve it for a while, maybe even (gasp!) permanently? Permission granted.

Do you want to start a business? Permission granted.

Would you like to go out in public without 'doing' your hair first? Permission granted.

Wanna eat dessert first? Permission granted.

How about singing in public? Permission granted.

What if you'd like to say something that's not what everyone else is saying, or not what others expect you to say? Permission granted.

Make plans to move to another country? Permission granted.

Talk to strangers in the coffee shop? Permission granted.

Join a club of some kind, any kind? Permission granted.

Leave a club you just don't care as much about any more? Permission granted.

Sleep during the day, and work at night? Permission granted.

Go for a walk instead of pushing to hit that deadline you know you're gonna miss anyway? Permission granted.

Stop working for an hourly wage, and just charge what you want for what you're doing? Permission granted.

Tell somebody who's not gonna be completely comfortable with it that you love them? Permission granted.

Tell somebody who's going to be heartbroken that you don't love them? Permission granted.

Sleep late? Permission granted.

Go to bed early? Permission granted.

See, here's the thing: you don't need anybody's permission. You don't. Which means, my permission is as good as anyone else's, because you don't need it. That's the biggest secret in life: you do not need anyone's permission to be you. You don't have any choice, so why are you fighting it so hard?

Stop waiting for someone to discover you and proclaim your genius and take responsibility for what you've wanted to do all along.

Stop waiting for permission.

[Just got this email from Tom and thought I'd share—joel]

Hi folks,

Hope things are going well with you. This is just a quick note to tell you that I've gotten my first iPhone app in the Apple appstore! It's called FractionationLite, and it's a [very simple] fraction calculator. I did it basically to experiment with getting an app in the store, but the calculator actually works and apparently there is quite a market in the store for educational and productivity tools like this. Lots of kids look for this stuff to help them with their schoolwork. I've downloaded many of the other free calculators available, and mine is better than most of them.

If you have an iPhone, iPod Touch or iPad, I would ask that you download and check it out. If you would, then please, please , please go back into the AppStore and give me a nice review. It's totally free and I would really appreciate it.

I plan to release a "FULL" version of Fractionation that has many more features. This will give me valuable experience in getting a "for sale" app launched. I wanted to have the full version ready for sale by the time Fractionation Lite launched, but I did not expect the app store approval process to move so quickly. One week from submission to approval!

Please check it out. Here is the link: Fractionation Lite in Apple AppStore

To review the App, simply go back to the same link in the AppStore when viewed directly on your iPhone/iPodTouch, and scroll all the way down to the bottom. Then touch the text that says something like "# Ratings". This will show you the current reviews and ratings so you can read them. At the top there should be a button that says "Write a Review". You can only write a review for an App that you have downloaded, so don't try to do this before you download the App or it won't work.

Simply click on "Write a Review", and have at it! Simply click on the number of stars you want to give me [hopefully FIVE!!], give your review a title [GREAT! or AWESOME! or some other superlative], and write a couple short sentences about why the app is so great.

If you want to send me detailed feedback, feel free to reply to this email, or send it to support@tnbtechnologies.com.

Thanks in advance for taking the time to help me out!

—Tom

Wow; I really need to post more than once a week, and more than just the radio show.

But for now, head on over to the Business Heretics Weekly Radio Ballyhoo thing and listen to Rules Are Crutches. Principles Are Levers.

And comment on it right here.

Perhaps the radio episodes should be embedded for listening right here, so you don't have to jump back and forth so much.

While Tom continues his convalescence (that's a fancy way of saying that this cold absolutely knocked him flat) I put together another solo radio show. Today I talk about when, or if, it's ethical to sell someone a product or service that's not just right for them. The seller owns the selling process, the buyer owns the buying process, but at some point, do you just take their money and know you've done what you can, or do you refuse to sell them something you know just isn't right?

Listen right here at Business Heretics.

Everybody is talking about impostor syndrome and the enormous fear some of us have that since I'm such a fraud it's only a matter of time before someone finds out.

After lots of reading and pondering the past week, I've realised that my greatest business fear is that, after I've taken someone's money, they'll be seriously unhappy with me, and I'll fail to find a satisfactory resolution.

What? Lemme see here; the Lord High Master of Selfless Customer Service might "fail to find a satisfactory resolution" ? What kind of blunt force trauma would cause that thought to even be in my head?

Guess what. My worst case, the most appallingly bad, embarrassing, uncomfortable, esteem-crushing case, has already happened.

The Agony of, Um, What was That?

It was excellent. Superb. One of the best business events of our collective experience. No; not talking about the euphemistic 'learning experience' of making a mistake. I mean, the outcome, the upshot, the net benefit to me and mine, has been personally, professionally and financially stupendous.

The end result has been

1. a casual client becoming a lifelong diehard raving fan
2. my learning a fantastic tech skill I didn't realise I'd even care about, and
3. lots of paid work. Lots. Of. Paid. Work.

Chatting with Best Beloved just now, as I was describing my greatest business fear, we both started laughing before I even finished because we were both thinking about exactly the same client, exactly the same event.

The Giant Horrific Mistake

Short and fairly anonymous version: we did a job for a client. At the last minute, far too late for anyone to do anything but print an explanatory apology to be tucked in with the product, client discovers that the product we created has the wrong name on one part. And they're giving away 300 copies in a few hours. At a huge event a few blocks from our house, of all places.

Mind you, at this point, this is a casual client, not even of mine, but of Best Beloved. The email we got was a classic example of defusing a situation with non-inflammatory prose. The client simply explained what was wrong and the remedial steps taken since a true fix wasn't possible, and stated forthrightly that they felt we'd want to do something about it.

Well, yeah. Like lay on the closet floor in the fetal position, sobbing and rocking.

Anyway, here's what we did instead. (Okay, afterwards.)

Resolution

1. We gave the client work from Best Beloved's business (remember, they were already a paying client so this was actual usable stuff) equal to the entire cost of the product we'd created for them. Mind you, they didn't lose that entire value, the product was still usable, just flawed. Didn't matter; she wanted to give the client the full value.
2. We clarified that, should such a thing ever happen again, we expected a phone call, middle of the night or not, so we could drive to the client's house, and print and stuff the explanatory apology ourselves. Our client should not be doing manual labor to compensate for our error.
3. I pushed it over the top by offering the website we'd been negotiating to build for this client, also coincidentally valued the same as the faulty product, free.

From Resolution to Results

So, #1, the client, who already uses Best Beloved's service, got a big project (one he was planning to pay her for) done absolutely free.

In #2, the client might never do it, but genuinely believed that if it was necessary, we'd get out of bed and drive across town to make it right, if we ever ever ever made a mistake like that again.

And #3 made them gasp in awe. No, I'm not kidding. As far as I recall, the exact words were "Joel, I was pretty much expecting what Sue offered, and I thought that was more than fair. But this; this is way over the top. This is so far beyond the call of duty. You guys are awesomesauce." Okay, maybe that last wasn't the exact word, but it sounded that way to me.

What I Learned (It's Not What You Think)

More upshot from the downfall: client gently nudges me into learning enough about WordPress to build a completely totally custom website, based on a WordPress framework, which allows me to use my mad coding skillz whilst providing all the grooviness of WordPress. It is universally acclaimed as a thing of beauty; by the client, client's associates, our clients. I now have some advanced skills with a wonderful tool, which has become an integral part of my web development business over at Spinhead.

Referrals Galore

Three referrals from Disgruntled (Not) Client in the first week after the site is done. One turns into some pro bono work for a charitable group made up of some just super people doing something truly important and unselfish. Another has turned into a really fine paid project with another super guy (did I mention that Not Disgruntled Client's contact list is filled with people you I wish I was more like? Polite, generous, smart, hard-working, driven. People I want to be around. (Third referral, I dropped the ball. Must pick it up and run with it, since the other two have been touchdowns, plus the extra point thank you very much.

Men, Let This Happen to You

So, to sum up:

Pointless Stupid Fear: 0
Life-Altering New Way of Thinking: 1

For the win.

Check out the newest episode of the Business Heretics Weekly Radio Ballyhoo to hear me talk about choices and chance and change.

I recorded the show solo, sitting under the moon and clouds on the deck in our back yard.

In last week's segment of the radio show we talked about communication, and how it has taken the path from fairly high quality but expensive to nearly free but low quality. Tom describes the situation, and raises some questions in this short clip.

You can listen to the full 30-minute recording of Communication, Cheapness, Quality at our website.

Should I send a newsletter, or just let folks subscribe to my blog?

Should I write about the topic that everyone's talking about, or should I try to find something original? Post once a week, twice a week? Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday?

Live radio show, or pre-recorded podcast?

This networking group or that training session?

The latest business fable or the hottest new fiction you've been waiting for?

Sometimes, there's just so much information about so many choices that we end up agonising over business decisions.

I'd like you to consider the possibility that, if the answer isn't obvious, perhaps it doesn't matter as much as you think it does.

Perhaps, what really matters, is to do something, anything, other than burning more time trying to decide.

An extensive quote from John Moore of Brand Autopsy; I've quoted the salient bit twice:

The first piece of advice from Nick & Tim is get a book published.

In more detail:

In their one-hour core conversation at SXSWi about breaking into the paid speaking business, Nick Morgan and Tim Sanders gave attendees priceless advice. (Had I heard this advice back in 2005, it would have saved me from learning those lessons the hard way — that is by doing it and at times, failing by doing it.)

Nick is a speaking coach for executives and consultant-types. His first book, “GIVE YOUR SPEECH, CHANGE THE WORLD” is a must-read for anyone who delivers presentations. Tim Sanders is coached by Nick and has carved out a lucrative career as an author and speaker. These two guys were both being sincerely helpful by sharing their no holds barred advice.

The first piece of advice from Nick & Tim is get a book published.

Have I mentioned that I can help?